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           Mind Slap

Telling the story how I see it

My Blog

Blog

Bree Brouwer

Posted on February 28, 2015 at 7:58 PM
bree brouwer

I'm learning how to become a better writer. I want to get as much feedback as possible on how to make my words jump off the page. A reader should become so engrossed with my words, my tone,  and feel my meaning from my context. I will not reach everyone with my words. This is the way I see it, when I ask for help in becoming a more searchable site. I expect to get help from a professional. A person that has worked in this industry for years and has offered to help a new writer find their way. I'm expecting someone that will give me advice on website setup, blog article ideas, maybe some content editing. What I did not expect was for someone to read my work and critique it's content as if I'm back in high school and my preschool teacher is marking incorrect answers with her red pen. We have had two entirely different lives. We are living different lives. Although you may have better taste in shoes than your choice of television shows. I would not want to walk a day in them. You cannot walk a day in mine either. The point of this post to you, there are no two people alike. There will not be someone that shares all of your ideas, there will be rejection, there will be conflict but you will not take away the joy I feel when I write. I am still learning I may want to be a copywriter because I love writing, I may want to be a grant writer because of my experiences with services to children and families. I do know the business to reach out to. If I do decide to become an information publisher we will have something in common. At this point I'm heading in a different direction than you.
Pretty brown eyes comes from a life time of meeting people that tell me that my eyes are beautiful and unique. They are big, bold, brown, and beautiful. Why not beautiful brown eyes, because I said so this isn't the prospering geek this is the classy and chic. Mind slap is what I just did to you because you needed an elaboration. This site is the way I see it. The content will change daily. Your going to want to come back. I'll be looking over your work to see if anything changes. Thank you again for taking the time to visit my website. I hope I chose the right words to slap your mind. (I've been writing a month)

blockquote><strong>Bree Brouwer said </strong>
Thanks for getting back to me, Maria!
I'd say you need a more cohesive blog experience. Your URL says "prettybrowneyes" but then your blog's title is "Mind Slap" and your tagline has nothing to do with either of those previous phrases, either. Your content is also very, very scattered. There's no separate section for your children's writing as opposed to your social services ideas, etc. You don't even have blog posts; you just have separate pages with random topics on each. If I were you, I'd sign up for a Wordpress account and start learning how to use it to better separate writing that should be blog posts vs. page copy.
I realize you want this to be a personal site, but at this point there's nothing to indicate why someone would want to read your work or follow it.</blockquote><br />

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16 Comments

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3:26 AM on March 7, 2015 
You should listen to your teacher! Your blog is REALLY bad.
Reply Maria
11:34 PM on March 14, 2015 
Claire says...
You should listen to your teacher! Your blog is REALLY bad.

Thank you Claire
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